January 27, 2023
I’ve decided to walk in my Power for Trinidad Carnival 2023. And I mean that in a few different ways. In my last diary entry, I mentioned my dream costume was something that covered everything. Because being fully covered is a safe thing for me. I get to hide my imperfections. Cover them with fabric and hope that no one notices the bits of me that I am ashamed to show.
But like I said, time tends to prove that dreams are sometimes just that. The costume I chose to play mas in is a two-piece. Which is crazy because I honestly don’t think there was a time in my adult life that I ever wore a two-piece. Let alone feel comfortable in one around so many people.
But it was something about the costume. Something that called me and spoke to my spirit. So much so that I couldn’t play in any other section but Power.
So as soon as registration opened, I put my deposit down and didn’t think twice. I figured I’d be able to tone up and look a certain way for the road by going to the gym consistently and cleaning up my diet. As time started to pass, I realized that I wasn’t and wouldn’t be anywhere near what I needed to look like for this costume.
And I got in my feelings about. Like why would I choose such a costume? What was I thinking?
Then I started to reflect. I reflected on all of the beautiful clothes that I own but haven’t worn because I don’t believe I look “good enough” for them yet. I thought about all of the things I’d let pass me because of my self-consciousness.
And since my costume was fully paid off already, I told myself I have no choice but to wear it. Then I had another moment and asked myself, why does it even matter? What’s really stopping me from wearing my costume and all of my other nice clothes?
And that’s when it hit me. The problem was with me and what I thought of myself. So in that exact moment, I told myself that 2023 would get whatever body I have. I’m taking back my Power! And that goes for carnival, the beach, and everything in between!
So it looks like my costume actually chose me. The name of my costume and section is Power. And it’s the costume that is forcing me mentally out of my own way. It’s giving me a new Power that I’m sure will only be magnified once I put it on to touch the road.
So this mas and in 2023, I will literally be walking in Power — my costume and the Power of my newfound body confidence!
POWER
We are all unlikely warriors; tested and tried in many lifetimes.
The mightiness of the tongue masters over the depths of our Legacy.
The Universe brings us all the POWER to choose.
Power to move.
Power to love.
Power to feel.
Our natural habitat shallows our truths but resistance deepens our resolve. Here, the healer find her True Self.
The First Quarter Moon bestows the power and light to reveal that fighter spirit in The Divine Woman.
Power to live.
Power to rise.
Power to win.
In 202WE have POWER.
By Solange Govia & Richard Dookhdeen
Ashley Travels The Globe 